About Us

Alienation of Grandchildren from Grandparents

My name is Bob Rudolph founder and Chair of Grandparents’ Rights of Washington State (GROWS)

My wife and I started GROWS over fourteen years ago when we were unjustly alienated from our beloved grandchildren by their parents, our daughter and son-in-law.

We started GROWS with six people, not knowing how pervasive grandchildren alienation was in this state. We now have well over a thousand members in our GROWS family.

We, like many grandparents are the only stability that our grandchildren have in this changing world. We give a sense of balance and stability to our grandchildren in a very confusing world, especially when so many of the parents of these children are on drugs, in prison or living in unsanitary or unacceptable living conditions.

The grandchild suffers the sadness of not knowing the love and the many gifts a grandparent adds to the value of that little person’s life. Also, the aunts, uncles and cousins also gone out of the child’s life. I always said when I testified before the state legislature for the law, that what must go through that little child’s head, why doesn’t grandma and grandpa love me anymore, what did I do wrong or why don’t they want to see me and where is Aunt Sally and Uncle Jim and my cousins, don’t they want to see me either.

Even when a child is three and four years old and they have the trauma of being left without a parent for most of the time for several years. That has a deleterious effect on the little mind of the child which might not necessarily show up at the time. But be very consequential later in the child’s life as he or she matures. So, harm might not show itself at the time, but the severe effects of this trauma within the family and not having a “safe place” i.e., grandma and grandpa love, security and comfort. Again, at a later time the harm could and probably will show up by low self-esteem, lack of trust in anyone, depression and sadly could lead to substance abuse. This could lead to self-hatred and looking into unsavory people for attention and security that they so dearly crave and is missing in their young lives.
We have a situation close to home for us, our own granddaughters fall under some of the above listed behaviors. Their dad was in the military and the girls didn’t have a great upbringing as little girls because he was in many respects a bully—-mental not physical or sexual. But he would put them through many experiences that were very traumatic to their young minds. We, as their grandparents, was the “safe place” for them. They knew that when they were allowed to see us, everything in their rooms was just as they left them—-comfort and stability.
The result of the trauma when they were little girls has come to the fore in their adult lives. We have had to pay for psychiatric help and mental health counselors because of anger issues, anxiety, agoraphobia and other mental issues. We are still paying for that help today and they are in their mid-twenties.

Between the many families in GROWS where there are similar issues that show up later in life with out the relationship with their grandparents and other family members to give that stability and balance to their young lives, no question it will affect them later in life, because of the harm caused in their early childhood.

Bob Rudolph
(253) 232-8927
Chair, Grandparents’ Rights of Washington State (GROWS)
www.grandparentsrightsofwa.org
wagrows@gmail.com